(All the usual disclaimers apply. This snippet picks up directly after the previous one. Remember, this is the rough draft and changes, some substantial, will occur before publication.—ASG)
“Here you go, Mom.” Ash handed her mother a mug of coffee before joining her on the sofa.
“Thanks.” Elizabeth smiled in appreciation and leaned back, cradling the mug between her hands. “You look tired, Ash. Are you all right?”
Ashlyn nodded. “I am. It’s just been a long week.”
And it was still only Monday.
“No doubt Helen’s announcement didn’t help.”
Another nod. “You’d think I’d be used to her little surprises by now.” Not to mention knowing that the proverbial shoe would drop with bad news at the worst possible time. “But I am worried about you. If I look tired, you look exhausted, Mom. What’s up?”
“The same as you’re dealing with, only on a larger scale.” She sipped her coffee and closed her eyes. Ash waited, giving her time to gather her thoughts. “Ash, be honest. Are you sure about this?”
Ashlyn opened her mouth and then snapped it shut. Her mother deserved the truth, even if she didn’t know exactly what it might be.
“Mom, you know what the years since the war ended have been like for me.”
Elizabeth nodded, her expression growing grim. Seeing it, Ash cursed silently. She hadn’t meant to make her mother remember those first few months when they both had been so badly injured. Fortunately, Elizabeth’s injuries healed quickly. She hadn’t suffered any of the problems with rejection of implants and regen Ash had. But she had been there with Ash for those long months and years as Ash fought to recover and return to normal. She’d held Ash as she cried over the loss of friends and Marines under her command. She hadn’t let Ash push her away when the demons of depression gripped her.
“I do and I know how hard you worked to recover.” She leaned smiled gently, lovingly as she reached for Ash’s hand. “I’ve also watched you come alive here at the Academy. This past year has been like you finally found that one last piece of yourself that’s been missing since the war.”
“I told Okafor this morning that I never expected to enjoy my duties here as much as I have.”
“You’ve never given yourself enough credit, child.”
Ash shrugged. “I guess realizing I could do this job made me wonder if I could return to active duty status.”
“That’s only natural. You proved you can do this job and now you want a new challenge. So what’s bothering you?”
Ashlyn sighed and looked around. They sat in the library on the second floor of her quarters. As she did, she smiled slightly. The commandant’s quarters on the Academy grounds might be more than a century old, but they were both comfortable and yet formal enough for official entertaining. Not that she did much of the latter. Instead of rubbing elbows with politicians and senior military officers, she invited the cadets on a rotating basis as well as members of the Academy staff. She used the time to not only help the cadets become comfortable mingling with senior officers, something that would be important once they were commissioned into their respective service branch, but to also get a better feel for how the cadets and their instructors thought about current events, things going on at the Academy, and so much more.
Tonight, however, instead of settling in one of the more formal sitting rooms or dining rooms, she and Elizabeth took advantage of the library. It had quickly become Ashlyn’s favorite room. She came here whenever she wanted peace after a long day or when she needed to step away from being the commandant for a few minutes.
“Seriously, Ash, you’ve been very quiet since we left Okafor’s.” Elizabeth absently brushed a lock of dark hair from her brow. “Are you all right?”
Ashlyn shrugged. “I’m conflicted.”
“About?”
“Honestly?”
Elizabeth nodded before lifting her mug and carefully sipping. “That’s usually the best.” Her hazel eyes twinkled and Ash gave a short laugh. How many times had Elizabeth said some variation of that over the years?
“About it all.”
“Talk to me, Ash. If you’re having second thoughts or if you aren’t ready to return to active duty, let me know. I will support your decision no matter what. All I ask is that you not accept Okafor’s offer out of some form of misplaced loyalty or sense of duty.”
As much as she wanted to stand and pace, Ash remained where she was. For a moment, she said nothing. Instead, she tried to order her thoughts. She always wanted to make sure she explained why she felt this way as clearly and as concisely as she could. Her mother would understand, she reminded herself. Elizabeth always did.
“I guess it really boils down to just two or three things, Mom.” She looked down at the mug she held between her hands. “There’s a part of me that feels like I’m breaking my promise to the cadets and their families by agreeing to go TDY. I made a commitment to them to be here to help guide them until graduation. I know I didn’t commit beyond this year, at least on paper, but I have come to realize how much I enjoy this posting. More than that, I’m good at it and I’ve put together an excellent staff to support me and the cadets.”
“Agreed and understood. What you need to understand is that there are very few who have been commandant here who didn’t feel the same way when faced with similar decisions.”
Ash nodded.
“What else is bothering you?”
“Mom, I meant it when I said I’m thrilled with your promotion. You should have received it long ago and would have if it wasn’t for what happened to my command on Arterus. Your support of me and my people cost you. Not only because the idiots beached you, but because it meant you were then behind others less deserving of promotion. I’ll never be able to make it up to you or thank you for your support.”
“That is enough of that, Ashlyn.” She didn’t snap out the words, but it was close. “You’re my daughter. That’s reason enough for me to fight for you. I knew you’d never do what those bastards Sorkowski and O’Brien claimed. You would never put your command, your Marines, in jeopardy like that. The only reason I didn’t give up my commission was because your father and Miranda convinced me I needed the access to FleetCom and FleetIntel I’d have even as a beached officer to FleetCom and FleetIntel.” She leaned forward and placed her mug on the coffee table. When she straightened, her expression reflected the anger and frustration from so long ago.
“Mom, I know.” She reached across the cushions to grip her mother’s hand. “But you told me to be honest, and that’s how I feel. I can’t forget the guilt, although I’ve come a long way over the years in learning to deal with it. So let’s just say that I’m thrilled you are finally getting the rank you deserve and I can’t wait to see the looks on certain people’s faces when they realize you are now the second highest ranking officer in the Corps.”
“Even if the new position scares the crap out of me—which I will deny if you ever tell anyone.”
Ashlyn laughed and promised to keep it their secret.
“What else is bothering you?”
“The real reason Okafor wants me back in SpecOps.” Now she did climb to her feet. “While the situation in Bennington System is concerning, it isn’t all that surprising. The government there has done little since the end of the war to maintain system security, much less increase it. That’s left the system easy picking for smugglers, slavers and the like. The fact the government has continued to refuse allied offers to assist them with the problems tells me it’s very likely that someone in power knows what is happening and is part of it. At the very least, they are making a profit out of it. At least that’s what my gut tells me.
“Bad as that is, it isn’t enough for Okafor to be pulling strings the way she is to get me back with the 7th. I know the intel from the Roemer Sector is still unconfirmed. You know as well as I do that the worst thing we can do right now is discount it without verification one way or the other. If we ignore the possibility of someone getting their hands on the biotoxin, it could bite us on the ass big time and who knows how many would die before we got the situation under control again.”
“Helen and I agree.” Elizabeth moved to join Ash where she stood before the window looking out over the Academy grounds. “Ash, she isn’t asking you to go to war. I know for a fact, she will issue orders to keep you out of combat. She isn’t going to risk your life again, not after all you sacrificed during the war. I happen to agree with her, and that’s me speaking as a member of her staff and not as your mother. Honestly, you will be filling a role you always did your best to avoid because it will keep you away from the front line. That role is very important right now, especially if things get as bad as we fear. You will be the face of the Corps, a reminder of the last war and all we fought for and sacrificed to keep not only Fuercon but all allied systems free.”
“In other words, I’m the face because folks here will remember me and what I, along with the rest of the regiment, did during the war.”
“That is one part,” Elizabeth admitted. “But the more important part is that you and your command dealt with the biotoxin more than anyone else who managed to survive the war. We need your experience now. Those who didn’t deal with it during the war, those who have joined the Corps since then, will respect your experience. That will help save lives.”
“You do realize that this will all fall through if I don’t pass the PFT and get the last of the doctors to sign off on my return, don’t you?”
Elizabeth reached out and turned Ashlyn’s head so they could look at one another. “Dear heart, the doctors aren’t going to be an issue. You’ve already surpassed not only their expectations but the minimal requirements to return to duty. I received notice from the CMO before heading to Helen’s tonight that all they need is her authorization to update your implants. As for the rest, that’s something you are doing to convince yourself that you’re ready, something the rest of us already know.”
“We’ll see. Edita’s running both Maria and me through the DD’s PFT in the morning.” Which meant she needed to find her bed before long.
“Send the results to both Helen and me. We’ll make sure they are added to your jackets and I’ll have the CMO schedule the updates on your implants.”
“Check on Maria’s as well. If we do find ourselves in a fight, she’ll be in the advance wave as my eyes and ears.” Mainly because Ashlyn knew both Okafor and Elizabeth would do everything they could to keep her behind the lines. Unless Fuercon came under attack, there was little precedent for her, at her new rank, to be part of the actual fighting force.
“I’ll see to it.”
“Thanks, Mom. Give me a day or two and I’ll not think this has all been a dream.” Or a nightmare. She still wasn’t sure which one. “I do have a favor to ask of you, however.”
“What’s that?”
“I need your thoughts, as well as your XO’s, on the division, specifically your officers and senior NCOs. What I’m really interested in is what’s not in their files.”
“Already in the works.” She gave Ash a quick hip bump and grinned. “Anything else?”
“Not right now.” There would be later, once she had a chance to sit down and start studying not only the division as a whole but also what she would need as her staff. “And I’d better get to bed unless I want Edita to run my ass into the ground I the morning.”
“Go. I can see myself out.”
“Mom, thanks.” She reached out and hugged her.
“Good night, Ash. Get some rest.”
If only it were that easy.
Another quick reminder. Surtr’s Fury is now available for pre-order on Amazon. It will be an Amazon exclusive for the first three to six months (still figuring that out). Then I will decide whether to take it wide or not. Here’s the link.—asg)